The Beginning of the End. (Part 1)

Standing up from where I was sitting in Champs Dinner, I moved through the crowded restaurant, making my way to the front door where my cell phone would get some better service.

This was the second call that I had received in a matter of seconds from my mother… an unusual occurrence.

“Hello?” I asked, removing the phone from my ear to look at the screen of my iPhone X’s cracked screen, checking to see if I had enough bars of service to maintain this phone call.

“What are you doing?” She asked, calmly. Her voice not giving much away.

“Eating lunch with Jermel.”

“Oh, well your father had a stroke, he’s being rushed to the hospital.” Calmness still spewing from her words.

“Say what?” My heart had dropped into my stomach twice already but then it stopped like a rollercoaster… just like the calm before the storm.

“I said, your father just had a stroke. He’s being rushed to the hospital.”

“Is he alright?” there was that sinking feeling again and this time, it was accompanied by the onset of tears brimming my eye line.

“I don't know. I’m on my way to the hospital now.”

“What hospital is he going to?” I asked, mentally packing up our lunch and making my way to the hospital already even though I was still standing in the foyer of the restaurant.

“NYU.”

“I’m on my way.” I barely got out as I made an about-face and headed back to the table where my love was sitting.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, face displaying concern as he looked into my eyes and witnessed the torment that was internally battling in me.

“We have to go. My dad just had a stroke.” The fear of the unknown was holding on to me. Making me crippled with so many emotions that I didnt know what I was feeling exactly. Numb — that was the only way that I could describe it.

Was he okay?

Why didn't I go see him yesterday like I said I would? Not that it would have changed anything but at least I could have seen him, spent some time with him. If this was the ending, I wasn’t pleased with it.

In that instance, I was kicking myself for putting off to today what I could have done yesterday. I had taken my dad and his time for granted… the day before, I had made plans to go and spend the day with him but the day had gotten away from me and I put it off for today, telling myself that it wouldn’t make a difference. Boy, had it made a difference though.

All of those things… those thoughts put the fire under me.

Within five minutes, Jermel had gotten our freshly cooked food boxed, paid the bill and met me outside of Champs where I had been pacing back and forth trying to calm myself.

“Let's go.” Grabbing my hand, we started on our way to the closest train station in the area. The L.

About an hour later, we were arriving at the hospital, hand in hand still… him being the strength that I was currently lacking.

“Hi, what room is Cooper Linton in?” I asked, not even giving myself time to make it to the counter.

Watching as the receptionist searched through her database for my father, my patience was running thin. Tapping my fingers on the counter and my foot on the floor, I did everything I could to prevent myself from exploding on her. She wasn’t the source of my frustration, just an innocent bystander but the longer she took, the harder it was to contain myself.

“You don’t see Cooper Linton?” My anxiety reaching an all-time high.

“No, I don’t have anyone here with that name.”

“That’s impossible. My mom said he was here.”

“Hold on, let me check one more time.” The receptionist said, seeing the anguish on my face.

While she checked, I called my mother back for more information.

“Ma, I’m here… they said that they don’t have anyone here by that name.”

“What?!”

“The receptionist is checking again but…”

“We’re in room — ”

The phone breaking up prevented me from making out what she was saying. Moving around the lobby, trying to get a better signal, I asked her to repeat herself.

When she started talking, her voice started breaking making it even harder to make out what she was trying to tell me and just that quickly, she was all out crying.

“Ma, what’s wrong?” I asked frantically.

Had things taken a turn for the worse? Please God… no… I’m almost there. Please…

“Ma, what’s wrong?” I asked again, this time more sternly.

“He’s… he’s…”

The phone broke up again but surely, I knew what she was trying to tell me, right? My dad was gone.

Without real confirmation, I broke down crying. Falling to the cold, tiled floor, allowing the phone to fall out of my hands with a clatter as it too hit the floor, while I shielded my face from onlookers.

There were so many things I needed to say, so many things I still wanted to do… I love yous not spoken, Facetime calls missed; how could this be the end?

Jermel grabbed my phone to talk to my mother, trying to figure out where we needed to go in order to be where my mother and father were.

“Oh my gosh.” I could hear the receptionist mutter under her breath before she came from around the counter with a box of tissues in her hand.

Following suit, she got down on the cold floor with me to try and console me with her warmth. The irony.

There was nothing warm about this. Although I did appreciate the gesture, I was cold… literally and figuratively.

“They’re at Lenox Hill Hospital. We’re going to take a cab there.” Jermel said, immediately bringing some kind of calm to the storm that was been brewing inside of me.

With outreached hands, he helped the receptionist and I up from the floor before thanking her and pulling me along.

“I have to call my sisters.” I said, immediately thinking of my dads other kids.

They needed to know what was going on, especially if this was going to be the last time we could see or talk to him.

While we walked to the closest corner to get a cab, I called my dads oldest child. When she answered, I could barely speak.

“I think Daddy’s gone.” I cried to her.

“Noooo!” She yelled into the phone.

Once she had gathered herself, she started asking me questions. Some, I didn’t even know the answers to.

“What happened?”

“He had a stroke.”

“Where was he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where is he now? Where’s your mom?”

“They’re at the hospital. Call her now, she knows more information than me. I’m on my way there now.”

“Okay.”

Without a goodbye, she hung up, rushing, just like I was, to find out what was going on.

Within seconds of our feet hitting the corner, we had flagged down a yellow taxi and were in route to Lenox Hill Hospital.

The moment the taxi pulled up, I was out of the car while Jermel took care of the fare. Making it to the receptionist desk, I already had my ID in hand.

“Cooper Linton.”

I had no time for the formalities… I needed to get to where ever my mom and dad were and I needed to get there now. Patience was a thing of the past at this point.

Jermel was right behind me with his ID in hand as well.

Once we had our visitor passes and the room information, we raced off to the elevators.

A crowd of people got onto the elevator with us, pushing every floor between the lobby and the floor we needed. I groaned as the elevator opened on each floor, delaying me getting to my father.

When the doors finally opened up on the ICU floor, I rushed out, tripping over my feet.

Standing in the middle of the hallway, I looked both ways, unsure of which way I needed to go. Reading the numbers on the wall, I turned to my left.

“It’s this way.”

Approaching another receptionist desk, I opened my mouth to ask for my father but instead of hearing myself, I heard my mother.

“Dee.”

Turning to my right, I saw my mother standing against the wall, face red and eyes puffy, holding a tissue in her hand. She looked the way I felt… in shambles.

Rushing to give her a hug, we stood like that for a few minutes as we both cried.

Pulling back from me, my mom used the tissue in her hand to dry her face, “he’s in there.” She pointed to the room that we were standing closest to.

“He’s alive?” I questioned, shock present on my face and in my voice.

“Yeah.”

Confusion was on both my mom and my face.

“I thought you said he was gone.”

“No… I said it doesn’t look good. He had a massive stroke and he’s not alert… there’s swelling on his brain…” my mom rambled on but I was already gone.

The moment I walked in his room, the tears started again.

I had never seen my dad in a state this vulnerable before… not even when he’d broken his leg riding a motorcycle on his 50th birthday. The sight of all of the machines and tubes attached to him gave me heart palpitations.

“Oh, Daddy…” I cried.

Part Two coming soon.

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